The purpose of this study was to examine the various representations of the author's development as a beginning teacher educator offered through his methodology of self-study through narrative inquiry. Analysis of these narratives revealed how certain ongoing, and at times paradoxical, tensions influenced the author's thinking about his initial practices as a teacher educator. At the same time as he was refining his vision for social studies and coming to understand the potential significance of his teaching, he was also, sometimes paradoxically, exhibiting fear of regression in his work, displaying apathy or exhaustion, exhibiting frustration and restlessness, and struggling to navigate interpersonal relationships with his students.